I finally got the gammmeeeee. I’m going to collect all those damn mafiosos hubandos.
As always, at the beginning of every Otome game, everyone asks himself the same question: Where to start? Who should I pick first? I thought: obviously one of the three main guys who are, in Ozmafia: Caramia, Axel and Kyrie….. Why not going with the one who looks like the prince? You know, the blond, happy, protective guy? The two other choices are the teasing fedora guy and Megane Tsun-Tsun so let’s try the prince type: CARAMIA, the lion of the Oz fairy tale.
It says that he’s the boss of the mafia, which means power and wealth ( ? ? ?)
Also he wears a cape and everybody knows that capes are freaking awesome, like, coolest thing ever, if you don’t wear a cape, you’re only half a man.
Furthermore, let’s be honest, he is visually appealing with those cute little fangs man… who can beat cute little fangs…
WAIT A MINUTE!
I’VE SEEN THIS ART STYLE BEFORE!
I’VE SEEN THOSE CUTE LITTLE FANGS BEFORE!
GO AWAY YOU CREEP!
GO BACK TO DIABOLIK LOVERS!
THIS GAME IS PURE OKAY? NOT TAINTED BY ANY KIND OF SIN!
LET ME LIVE A ROMANCE WITH MR. CARAMIA HERE, AWAY FROM ALL YOUR KINKY BULLSHIT!
Before starting everything, I like to mention that the heroine is total limp noodle. She’s basically like Yui from Diabolik Lovers without the masochist tendencies… actually…she does have some interest in… no… Let’s save this for later.
She doesn’t really make her own choices, or really dumb ones like going alone in a forest to free a guy who has been kidnapped by the bad guys. You know, this kind of shit which causes more trouble than anything else, Well, let me present you Fuka! What’s up with that name by the way?
She literally can’t do anything on her own, she can’t even cut freaking potatoes without cutting herself! She believes everything, doesn’t get any jokes, especially sex jokes, in a nutshell, I wouldn’t invite her to my birthday party. Also she basically screws with every guy of the game. If I had to select a song to describe Fuka, it would be this one: ? ? ? ?
Especially the “You’re switching sides like a Gemini ” part. Yup That’s exactly her.
Now a word about the structure of the game, It’s quite tiring actually. For all the main guys, including Caramia, there’s two endings for their main routes. Then there’s something called transfert endings. This is a feature of the game where Fuka decides to suddenly quit the guy’s route which you’ve been following since the beginning to screw with another guy; you quit the guy’s route and end up with another one. So if you want to have the full CG gallery for let’s say Caramia, you have to play all the main guys’s routes in order to get his transfert endings. What makes me laugh if that if you decide to cheat and screw with another guy you get one of those pictures ==========>>>
I don’t know about you, but I clearly see that as a motive to cheating!
Honestly I don’t know how to feel about transfert endings since Fukka decides to change her mind pretty quickly and has sex with the guy the same night, while she’s been in a relationship with the first guy for I don’t know… about 2 months and they’ve only kissed. To put it simply I think this song can sum up the transfert endings in Ozmafia. Beware! Cheesy music ahead: ? ? ? ?
You’ll note the subtle lines: “Boom boom boom boom I want you in my room, let’s spend the night together from now until forever, boom boom boom I want a double booom let’s spend the night together, together in my room”. Oh yeah, here, we are going to be reaaaaallly subtle ( ? ? ?)
In total there’s like 6 endings for each guy that you cannot reach only by playing the guy main route. Also, there’s some subs events and additional CG that you can only obtain the second time you play the route. For this review, I’ve played Caramia’s main route and his transferts endings when you decide to screw with Axel or Kyrie instead of Caramia. I’ve also got Caramia’s rival endings, when I ditched Kyrie for Caramia’s golden Ass. However, I haven’t play the grand finale route so yeah, I’ll probably update the post once I finish this route.
So Caramia… where to start? He’s the Don of the Oz family, meaning the chief, even if he seems to delegate a lot of business to Kyrie, the fedora boy. He prefers reading to running outside and wears glasses when he reads just because. Him and Kyrie like to bully Tsun Tsun Axel, taking his money to buy food and insisting on how Alex is embarrassed being around you. But that’s the only time where he’s trolling around in his main route. He is quite bossy, devoted to his family. He protects Fuka but without shouting “I WILL PROTECT U NO MATTER WHAT” which is enjoyable. However, when useless Fuka cuts herself he acts like it’s the end of the world, like “OMG DOCTOR PLZ TREAT HER, SHE’S BLEEDING!” Man, she just cut herself trying to peel a potato, chill.
My main problem with his route is that, not like Kyrie and Axel, he did not show any particular interest in the heroine until the confession moment. Sure he’s protective like all japanese bishounens, but in comparison to the teasing Kyrie and the blushing Axel, he did not seem particularly interested in the heroine’s booty. All they did together was cutting potatoes and playing cards. He also gave her a piggy back ride cuz she got drunk after drinking a sip of alcohol. YEAH! A SIP! THE HEROINE GETS DRUNK AFTER A SIP OF ALCOHOL. I don’t know if it’s because I’m an alcoholic or something but I usually need a whole bottle of wine like 14% to get drunk…. not a sip of Gin Tonic. Who the hell orders a Gin tonic anyway Caramia? Such a pussy drink.
Anyway, for his love declaration, he explains that he first thought of her as his daughter and then started seeing her a woman at some point and I’m wondering WHEN in the hell that changed occurred… but oh well, maybe they were signs that I did not see… I don’t know… So she says she loves him too and he hugs her… step by step I’m telling you. Also, who the hell, mark my words, WHO IN THE FREAKING HELL, TELLS TO THE GIRL HE LIKES: “first I saw you as my daughter”?!!! I have no words, such a lover Caramia… I-I… That’s some deep Oedipal complex here.
The little time the two of them spend after the declaration is the same as before the love confession: no real improvement, I couldn’t see the difference.They play cards, Caramia says he’s busy being the boss, but that he wants to protect you and stuff nothing really romantic. So let’s talk about the Endings instead.
Limp noodle Fuka accepts to be in the OZ family and one day Caramia shoots her in the stomach for no apparent reason just because he mistook her for someone else… HEH BEATS ME! Because of that, she learn that before he was a coward and that this incident made him lose all his courage again so now he’s like ” plz don’t hate me”, “I hate myself”, “I can’t protect you” and cries. He also act like a retard. I’m sorry, but being a coward doesn’t mean that you chase after butterflies all day, talking like a 7 years old.
You know what’s the funniest thing about this? He’s actually showing some affection. He’s like “whiiii butterflies are so pretty but you are more pretty , I love you wiiiiiiii” and I’m not joking. So because now he is a coward, for some reason Fuka has to attend the meetings instead of him. And she get kidnapped by a random dude named Hamelein, who is messing with Caramia’s head by playing with his flute. Hamelein’s flute, not Caramia’s… eh..hum… You get the idea ( ? ? ?)
Anyway, Caramia regains his courage after beating the crap out of the dude and BAM WEDDING! BUT OH NO!The non threatening bishie Cesar, who wants to kill Fuka since the beginning , appears. So Caramia is like “meeeh, let’s postpone the wedding I’m gonna roast his ass”. THE END.
Basically nothing changes just that when you encounter Hamelin, The coward Caramia doesn’t really fight and Hamelin runs away for some reason. So Caramia stays a pussy lion, afraid of dogs, roads, crowed places but he says he’ll be fine if Fuka stays with him.
Fun thing, when you go in your CG gallery, all the guys make audio comments about the pictures you’re looking at. When you pick the picture where Caramia cries because he’s a coward, the voice actually says something like “ooh his this embarrassing, but yes, I once was this man”. YES IT’S EMBARRASSING! This whole personality switch is embarrassing but I guess it’s unavoidable since the lion in the OZ fairy tale is indeed a coward.
Ok so my feelings after those two endings? It was okay…. I guess… maybe? Thing is, because I couldn’t feel any love, meant as sexual attraction not just affection, coming from Caramia during his route both his endings left a strange taste, the taste of indifference with a sip of disappointment . I did not have high hopes for his route since I don’t particularly like the “prince ” personality, but COME ON! At least show us some interest!
Fuka can decide to seek attention with Kyrie who actually proposed her to ditch Caramia’s ass for his. This can happen because Caramia refuses to explain her stuff about his past, so she’s like “oh ok, better have sex with Kyrie then”, GURL! GURL!
And the worst part! The worst part is that Caramia who, after learning that Fuka opened her legs for Kyrie, when she was supposed to be his girlfriend, says the next morning: ” it’s okay, he told me, let’s be friends ok? “. OKAY?! DUDE? She cheated on you for no reason and you’re like “oh k , it’s cool”. Man, he did not care that much after all.
If you refuse Kyrie’s proposition he’ll say that it was just a ruse to make you and Caramia closer. YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHH…. OOOOF COUUURSE! Man I haven’t played Kyrie’s main route yet, but I already know that you cannot trust this guy.
If you choose Axel as your transfert ending, it’s almost the same thing expect this time, Caramia kind of dump you before you cheat on him which is more acceptable… I guess? He basically says that he’s too busy to make you happy and tells you to go with Axel cuz he’ll make you happier which Fuka does right after and spend the night with the guy
Fun thing, Caramia is way more lovely if you switch to him after pursuing another dude. It’s in those times that he is a real beast. If you know what I mean ( ? ? ?)( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?) ( ? ? ?)
Indeed, Caramia is more interesting when you are playing someone’s else route and switch to him. He is lovely, he actually trolls Kyrie and Axel, he is cool and is interested in Fuka, not as his daughter but as his “prey” if I might say this without being too cheesy. In Kyrie’s route he gets mad at him for treating you like shit and making you cry so the two of them actually fight over you. THAT’S WHAT I WANTED! But not in Kyrie’s route. He is what I wanted but not in his route and that’s tooooo baaad.
To put it simply: In his own route, he’s a nice guy. That’s it, like he’s kind but if you’re looking for hot steaming passion you better look somewhere else. He showed no interest in the main heroine during his main route so he’s a bit tasteless. It’s like dating your big brother or worst, your dad or some kind of uncle. That’s not my kind of thing so I pass.
In all the other routes, he’s the kind of guy I would go after. I know it’s complicated right? Too bad he can’t be cool in his own route, that’s quite a shame.
However, I do forgive his lack of attention. Why you may ask ? Because he wears a cape… and has cute fangs. Guys, cape and fangs… How can you even compete with that?
Coming Next on Ozmafia!!: The Brothel Route where we learn that kinky does not always rhyme with funny ( ? ? ?)( ? ? ?)( ? ? ?)( ? ? ?)